I’ve returned back to work this week. I’m a high school science teacher by trade. I’m also a wife, mother to a one-year old, a chronic illness warrior, and a human being. I forget that last part most times. I had big plans for this week:
- Get a weekly chore list complete (and actually do them)
- Meal plan for the next week for the whole family
- Get fully prepared for the first two weeks of school
- Read a lot to keep up-to-date on the blog
- Master self-care
Did I mention I am only human? Oh right…I forgot again. Okay, so I set high goals for myself…what of it? Well, it’s Thursday, and I’m reflecting, and I’m not happy. But I think on that word happy, and reevaluate…
- I got sick this week. I haven’t been sick in MANY months. Being sick and having 6 chronic illnesses can take a huge toll on my body. Did I give myself any credit for that? Look what I HAVE accomplished this week despite having a high fever and a throat made of sandpaper!
- I spent the whole evening playing dress-up and reading books with my daughter. I’m pretty sure we laughed for 40 minutes straight together. Her smile is infectious.
- I have prepared myself for the first week of school and have been able to help a bunch of my co-workers out mentally and physically.
- I did dishes, some laundry, and made some delicious dinners this week while some nights all on my own.
So, am I happy? You BET I am! Then why am I beating myself up on this? As I put my daughter to bed and started to wrap-up my evening, I thought about reading. Then I realized I just didn’t have the energy and I felt so ashamed. That’s what kept me second guessing my ENTIRE week – all because I realized I hadn’t completed the goals I had set for myself!
I went to work – SUCCESS! I was sick and could’ve easily called it all off the entire week (don’t worry, I did take some time to rest).
The house didn’t burn down – SUCCESS! Who cares if the laundry is still sitting in the dryer for another day? If it means I get to do something to take care of myself or enjoy a moment with my loved ones, by all means.
I fed everyone including myself – SUCCESS! Who cares that I didn’t make this elaborate plan of freezer stacked meals ready to go the next day. I took that time to prepare healthy meals and sleep which my body needed most.
I watched a movie instead of reading – SUCCESS! No one is keeping track of how much time I spend reading or how many posts I make in a day – and I watched one of my favorite movies that left me in the happiest of moods and that’s all that MATTERS!
Now, don’t get me wrong…not doing certain tasks turns into a failure. Yes, I do need to make time to keep the house clean and eat well to stay healthy. I do need to prepare for work because it’s my professional duty to do so. I do need to read because it’s one of my greatest forms of self-care. Setting goals is a wonderful thing, but the key is to not get bogged down if they aren’t met. As long as you try to reach the goal, you have made some sort of success 100% of the time and that’s something to be so so grateful for! Know that making it another day one step ahead of where you were yesterday may be the biggest thing you’ve done. Who cares what others may say or see because they won’t ever know until they’ve been in your shoes.
As I spend time writing this instead of watching a movie, I’m thankful that I chose a task that is feeding my soul, feeding my creative outlet, keeping me happy, and making me feel proud and successful of the things I’ve done. I pray the same for you dear friend.
And another thing…all your best ideas come when you are in the shower (just sayin’).